Do you remember what it’s like to be a 7th grader? You’re just starting to figure out who you are and where you fit in. Your body is changing, and how people view you is starting to matter more than ever. You have just connected with a good friend or group of friends, and these connections are deeper than any friendships you’ve ever had. You hang out inside and outside of school. You seek each other’s advice, and their opinions are starting to be a little louder than your parents’.
DIFFERENT HOMES
One day after school dad says, “Mom’s got orders, we leave in 3 months.” The whole family is excited, and you try to be too. But quietly, your heart is breaking. You knew this day was coming, you’d been here for 3 years, but you just found a place to belong with people you connect with, and now you are leaving again.
DIFFERENT STRESSORS
Now, think back to what it’s like to be a high school junior. You are driving now, and your senior year is within arm’s reach. You are starting to weigh the options of continuing the family tradition of joining the military or going to college. You look at ways to do both. You have taken prep courses for the SAT and ACT and scheduled test dates.
Then, your dad calls, and you find out he got tagged for an immediate 6-month deployment. He leaves in three days. You’ve been here before, so you start to prepare.
DIFFERENT RESPONSIBILITIES
As the oldest child of four with no family close by, you know that you will have to pick up the slack. You must become the voice of reason and the morning motivator to get your little siblings out the door on time. Instead of riding around with your friends, you help usher your younger siblings to practices and events because mom can’t be in two places at once.
DIFFERENT WORRIES
Your testing dates approach. The pressure starts to climb, but it’s hard to focus. Whenever you open social media or turn on the TV, you see images of conflict close to where your dad is serving. Although you try to stay positive, you are crying yourself to sleep at night because you worry. You think “What does a 31 ACT score matter if my dad isn’t coming home? If my dad does come home, will he be the same?” You must be strong.
DIFFERENT STRENGTH
This is what it’s like to be a military-connected youth. They are born into a lifestyle of serving our country. Standing silently alongside their parents’ mission, they often become unseen.
But they are resilient. These teens have been to more places, lived with and adapted to more cultures, and had more unique experiences in their young lives than most people do in their entire lifetimes. Their strong presence makes classrooms and communities richer.
Military-connected youth are some of the strongest humans I know. In a word, they are amazing.
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Article by Kristi Harrison-Coffey, a retired military spouse, devoted mom and the Ministry Site Director for Campus Life Military MacDill
